The Mean Dean Sprout Roulette
by TheBeautifulNerd
Summary: Co-written by myself and Giatrix: It's Iain and Lily's first Christmas as a married couple, and Iain is determined to make it the best Christmas ever. First, he has to introduce Lily to a Dean Christmas tradition. One-shot.


**So this is a Christmas one-shot, based around Lily and Iain, co-written by myself and Giatrix.**

"There's always one creaky floorboard isn't there?" Lily muttered to herself.

She was convinced that every house had one but she hadn't discovered the one in Iain's flat until now - at the most inconvenient of moments. She had so gracefully tiptoed out of bed and across the landing, only to have the floorboard just outside the living room creak loudly beneath her. She knew Iain would never let her live it down if he caught her, not after she had displayed such a lack of festive enthusiasm only hours earlier; but she couldn't resist. Here she was in the early hours of the morning, going to turn on the Christmas tree (or as she saw it, hers and Iain's Christmas tree) and sit in the festive glow it would cast over the entire room.

Having never been one for wasting time or opportunities, Lily was determined that if she couldn't sleep, she was going to take the chance to absorb every detail of the day and commit them all to memory. It was only really since being with Iain that she had come to cherish the ability the human mind had for preserving memories. As she curled up on the sofa, watching the reflection of the lights against the iridescent tree decorations, Lily mulled over the events of the day and was in no doubt that this was, already, the best Christmas she had ever had.

 _"Right – time for another Dean family tradition!" Iain had said excitedly after they decorated the tree._

 _"Don't you dare tell me we're going carol singing Iain!" Lily had teased as she rolled her eyes._

 _"Careful Chuckles, you'll give me ideas," Iain played along, before darting off into the kitchen and returning with a bowl. It was filled with what looked like chocolate truffles, identically wrapped in green foil, which he placed proudly on the coffee table. Lily was left utterly bemused._

 _"Open one," he had encouraged._

 _Lily tentatively took a truffle, not sure what to expect. As she peeled back the foil, she was faced with a very disappointing reality. She could forget about enjoying a chocolate truffle. It was a perfectly trimmed, raw, Brussel sprout which she held up to Iain disapprovingly._

 _"Haha! I've finally discovered something Lily Chao isn't naturally talented at – of all the real chocolate truffles in that bowl, you get one of the five sprouts on your first go!" Iain mocked gleefully. "The Mean Dean Sprout Roulette strikes again!"_

 _"There's no way I am eating this Iain!" Lily contended._

 _"What? You have to. It's tradition!" Iain was not letting it go. "If six year old Gem managed it, then you can."_

 _Lily pondered her options. She hated sprouts – just like most sane people, but she didn't want to ruin the moment and have Iain think of her as a total killjoy. To eat the sprout, or not to eat the sprout? That was her Christmas dilemma. Lily plumped for option number three – eat the sprout but without letting Iain get away scot-free._

 _She reluctantly popped the sprout into her mouth, her facial expression souring as the pungent bitter cabbage taste overwhelmed her senses. Meanwhile Iain had been enjoying the moment immensely, laughing away and rubbing his hands together as he moved to reach into the bowl for his turn. Whilst he'd been looking down at the 'truffles', hoping that his years of experience would help him make a favourable choice, he hadn't clocked Lily's arm reaching behind her for something she had caught sight of and tossed into one of the decoration boxes earlier on._

 _When Iain had eventually looked up again, after spending an excessive amount of time trying to decipher which truffles were sprouts in disguise, he was met with a sprig of mistletoe and Lily's triumphant gaze. "Don't leave a girl hanging!" Lily mocked as she puckered her lips at him._

 _Iain couldn't help it. He was supposed to be somewhat annoyed (considering that he was about to experience what could only be described as a sprout infused kiss) but he was totally spellbound by Lily's wit. Without a second thought he leant in to kiss her, and did so a lot more passionately than Lily had expected – forgetting about the sprout issue remarkably quickly._

 _Once they finally broke apart, both smiling from ear to ear, they continued on with the game. Iain subtly retrieved the mistletoe which had fallen to the floor mid-kiss – knowing he'd make good use of it on a future occasion._

 _"Welcome to the family Lily," he beamed as he tried his own luck with the Mean Dean Sprout Roulette._

 _It totally floored her, it was such a casual declaration but it carried such deep sentiment. In fact the casual nature of it made it even more special, for it conveyed that it had become second-nature for Iain to think of Lily as family. She actually had a place in Iain's family, well, what remained of it anyway – to her it denoted permanence and that in itself warmed her heart._

After reminiscing about how sweet Iain had been about sharing his own holiday traditions with her, Lily moved to switch off the fairy lights, remembering that she had a long shift at the ED tomorrow. The sound of Iain lightly snoring was still vaguely audible – a good sign she thought to herself, no clichéd explanations required and more importantly, no life-long reminders that she was (albeit secretly) now a fan of Christmas. That was something she knew Iain would love to take credit for, and as she crept back into bed beside him, she smiled at the thought of him announcing to everyone in the ED that he had single-handedly converted the Ice Queen into one of Santa's most loyal little helpers.

 _You better watch out, you better not cry_  
 _Better not pout, I'm telling you why_  
 _Santa Claus is comin' to town_

"IAINNNNNN!" Lily angrily groaned, still groggy and half asleep from her late-night wanderings, with her eyes refusing to open.

No response.

 _He's making a list and checking it twice_  
 _Gonna find out who's naughty and nice_  
 _Santa Claus is comin' to town_

"Iain, turn that OFF! It's too early in the morning for Christmas songs. Having this music on repeat in the supermarket is bad enough; I will not be subjected to it here!" Lily persisted.

To her disbelief, the music actually grew louder. That was it.

Yes, she loved him, but now he was pushing his luck. Why couldn't he have woken her up with his usual morning kiss? That was something she was willing to lose sleep for. Instead, he had awoken the infamous Lily Chao wrath. Against her better judgement, she forced her right eye open and was just about ready to hit Iain in the face with a pillow when she caught sight of the time – 11.30am. Iain would have already left for his shift. Yet the music continued on, growing ever louder and fueling her anger, which was now accompanied by confusion.

 _Santa Claus is comin' to town_  
 _He sees you when you're sleepin'_  
 _He knows when you're a wake_  
 _He knows if you've been bad or good_  
 _So be good for goodness sake_

That was when she saw it. Her phone lay out of place on Iain's bedside cabinet, aglow with an alarm waiting to be turned off. She had to give it to him - he was nothing if not dedicated. As she stretched over the bed to relieve her ears from the high pitched music, she felt something crinkle beneath her arm - a note from Iain:

 _Morning Chuckles,_

 _Didn't want to wake you – tree decorating had clearly exhausted you!_

 _Will pick you up from work at 9pm as usual_

 _Love, Iain x_

 _P.S Hope you enjoyed your Christmas alarm – think of it as an early present from yours truly (don't be too angry with me will you? Neither of us wants to end up on the naughty list!)_

Any effort Lily made to restrain a smile proved futile as she read Iain's postscript – he was such a big kid. She sat herself up against the pillows and became slightly concerned by her new inability to stay mad at Iain.

After all, who knew what he was going to do next if he'd gotten away with so much already.

 **I hope you enjoyed it. I can't take all credit as it was co-written by myself and Giatrix. Merry Christmas everyone :-) x**


End file.
